Gripe of the Week

I have to say that before this season, I had never really watched America's Got Talent. I don't know if it's because of my usual opposition to those type of shows or because I am afraid if I watch David Hasselhoff too much it'll turn me gay. But coincidentally enough, I started watching this season regularly and it happens to be the first Hoffless season.

The Hoff

He was replaced by Howie Mandel, who is awesome is his own right. I think of the 3 judges he is the best one because he is not too harsh, but also is a pretty good judge of talent - why? Because of the 3 he is the only one with actual marketable talent. Piers was only chosen because they needed a "Simon." And Sharon Osbourne - I didn't realize being the wife of a washed up rock star qualifies you as a talent scout. Anyhow I digress.

Here is my gripe. On Tuesday night's show, there was an act that I, and an enthusiastically cheering audience thought was a no-brainer to make it through. Her name is Nina Mojares and she is 10 years old. Sharon said she was a "very talented young girl," but didn't put her through because she was "very precise." Piers said he didn't think she was ready. The only thing I can say about Piers is that at least he is consistent. Howie commented she was trying too hard to be an adult act instead of being herself, but he voted her through. I'll get into why Sharon is inconsistent (besides not voting for a girl she thinks is "very talented") after this video. Take a look for yourself:

Whether or not you agree with the judges' decision, you should agree that she is better than Mary Ellen, a 74-year-old who is more of an Almond Joy than a Mounds "singing" and "playing" keyboard.

Besides a good 5 minute laugh, I don't see why this lady has any real talent that will carry over into the rest of the competition. Apparently to win Sharon over you have to be "barking mad" as opposed to very talented.

And that, my friends, is my gripe of the week, brought to you by corn. It goes out looking the same way it did when it came in.

Miley Cyrus' Transformation into a Slut Going as Planned

It was just a few years ago Miley Cyrus was a wholesome 13-year-old starring on the Disney Channel. In the past few years before the public's eyes she has really begun to grow into a beautiful young slut.

"I can't believe how my fast my baby has grown up," remarked father Billy Ray. "You spend your whole life raising a child in hopes that one day you can let go and hope that she will grow into a slutty young woman on her own. She has made me so proud!"

Her mother recalls how rocky the transition into sluthood has been. "I remember when she was 15 and I tried to talk her into buying her first low-cut, 6 inch above the knee dress. She broke into tears crying, 'I'm just not ready yet.' Then 2 weeks later she came home from the mall with an even trashier dress than the one I tried to buy for her. She tried it on, and I was like, 'Is that my teenage daughter or is it a hooker? I can't tell!' And that's when I knew our little girl was well on her way to an out-of-wedlock pregnancy by the time she's 19, 20 tops."

Miley in 2005, looking all young and unslutty

Miley in 2010, looking all adult and hot and stuff.

Miley said in an interview that she hopes to be in her second marriage by 21 and in rehab while being pregnant with her third child by 23.

"I always knew she was goal-oriented," stated a teary-eyed father. "Seeing the decisions she is making really lets me know I've done my job as a parent."