After 40 years, Woodsy Says 'Do Whatever You Want! I Don't Care Anymore!'

After four decades of telling people to "Give a hoot - don't pollute," Woodsy has finally given up on us.

"Forty years!  Forty frickin' years I've asked and asked you to give a gosh darn hoot!" Woodsy shouted in the middle of Yosemite National Park after an apparent mental breakdown.  "And what do you do?  You do the exact crappin' opposite!  I don't know why I bother.  You're just going to do what you want anyway.  I've tried everything I can, but I don't know how to get through to you!"  This was followed by 45 minutes of crying in the fetal position.

Of course we all remember his original ads where he cheerfully tells us not to give a hoot, but you may need some memory-jogging to remember some other techniques to try to get people to be compliant with his request.  There was the fear tactic in which he warned that if you pollute, your hair might turn green.  And who can forget his reverse psychology ploy in the early 90s when he changed his slogan to, "You know what?  You couldn't stop polluting if you wanted to, so I'm not going to bother."

Perhaps the most radical plan of all was when he decided it was time for some good old fashioned discipline.  This was when he spoke at an environmental fundraiser and said, "Well people, since you won't listen to me, I have no choice but to ground you for a month.  That means you only leave your house to go to work and come home.  And no TV."  Much to the owl's shagrin, the people whined about how unfair it was and that he isn't even their real dad before storming out in a huff to sleep over at a friend's house.

Experts suggest that Woodsy go to counseling with the people so they can express their feelings and bring back the relationship they used to have when they thought Woodsy was an infallible hero.  They also suggest he gets off the sauce.