Speidi Divorce Taking its Toll on US Supreme Court

With the recent news of Heidi Montag hiring a divorce lawyer to mediate her divorce with Spencer Pratt, The Justices of the Supreme Court have been having trouble keeping their minds on business as usual.

Perhaps most bummed of all is the eldest of the judges, John Paul Stevens.

"He just hasn't been the same since news of their separation came out," remarked fellow Justice Scalia, who would often come over to his house for a beer and watch the Hills. "When they finally got married we were overjoyed. It's all we could talk about for weeks. I'm so upset I can't even think about all this legal crap we have to handle today."

Ruth Ginsburg, who claims to dress like Heidi Montag on the weekends, told interviewers she almost didn't get out of bed this morning. She managed to drag herself into work today, but she "doesn't give two shits today about whether or not crap is constitutional. Fuck it all!"

Clarence Thomas commented on how now that Montag is single again, he would totally tap that.

Chief Justice Roberts could not be reached for comment because he had locked himself in the bathroom, crying.

The Supreme Court hasn't been this torn up since they found out Simon was leaving Idol.