There are No Small People, Only Poor Inbred Fishing Hicks

On Wednesday a major faux pas offended the residents of the Louisiana Gulf Coast. BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg, or as his friends call him, the Ricmeister, stated that BP "cares about the small people." One area man was highly insulted.

"Why, I'm 6'2" and my wife, she's 5'10". This man is just making assumptions without so much as pulling out a tape measure!" He then proceeded to drink some moonshine and howl like a dog.

Later that day the Ricmeister issued an apology:

"I am very sorry about my remark about 'small' people. It was an error in translation. I meant to say that we care about the poor worthless scum of the earth who work for a living. Again, I apologize for the misunderstanding."

He then teased some local residents with a $100 bill tied to a string before getting into his limo and instructing the driver to blast the song, "I Wanna Be Rich" whilst they made their way to the airport.